Given the wealth of gold-standard dating advice we unearthed in our recent article 'Valentine's day tips for men (from women)', we thought it was only natural to see what other nuggets our willing participants were capable of offering up. In this instalment, our panel of female advisers give you their most important tips on making a good first impression.
How to make a good first impression
On appearance
I do like a guy that can put an outfit together, and if it’s a little bit different to your standard chain store buys, I’m likely to be more interested.Zara, Freelancer in the PR industry
Nice eyes are a major plus (as is maintaining eye contact). A nice smile is a must, and key to this is good teeth. A tan is always a bonus. Nails should be short and well groomed.
When it comes to clothes, it's all about the shoes. If you turn up in Toms - especially in the style of Joseph and his amazing technicolor dreamcoat - it's an absolute no-go (that said I'm still seeing the guy).
Ideal style is plain but well fitting. Staples are staples for a reason. You can't actually can't beat a plain white T.
Jas, Social Media Manager
Make sure you're either clean shaven, or if facial hair is your thing make sure it's well groomed. Don't turn up looking bedraggled! A signature scent goes a long way so make sure you're wearing aftershave and smelling good. (Definitely no on the Old Spice though).
A fitted shirt showing off your physique is always a plus.
Bex, Trading Manager
Tall dark and handsome please. Don’t be more preened than me- I need to be the prettiest one. You can’t look too put together, so a bit of stubble/beard is always good. Personal hygiene is a MUST- if you smell good you’re automatically more attractive. Jeans that looked sprayed on are a no no, but super baggy jeans that show off boxers are equally unattractive. A fitted shirt showing off your physique is always a plus. Shoes are a key point- and always wear socks. Not asking for much am I!?
Sally, Campaign Exec
I don’t have a specific type, so as long as someone is well presented, clean, groomed they'll make a good first impression. I’m cool with beards but please maintain it and don’t let food linger in there (grim). I do prefer trimmed nails, something about long nails on guys creep me out. Clean teeth are an obvious one, but with hair I think as long as they’re owning whatever hairstyle they’ve gone for with confidence, we’re all good. Smelling good is really important, not drowned in aftershave, but a good scent is something I’ll remember.
When it comes to style, again it’s all about confidence. As long as they’re owning their look and are confident in their clothing choices, they’re likely to look good. I do like a guy that can put an outfit together, and if it’s a little bit different to your standard chain store buys, I’m likely to be more interested.
Charlotte, PR Manager
Keep the facial hair neat and tidy, nobody wants to be seen out with someone looking homeless but on the other I hand I don’t want you to be more groomed than I am! I prefer short, well styled hair - the man bun is a BIG no from me! Neatly kept nails are good (no nail biters please!) but make sure you don’t look too manicured. If you have bad breath – you’re not getting a second drink, never mind a second date!
I like a good tan, and good brows (again, not as good as mine), and a little muscle.
Katie, Trading Exec
First things first, brush your teeth before you see me. I like tattoos but only if they mean something. Saying that, don't show me other girl's names engraved in your arm. Always wear socks. Don't wear scruffy shoes. Don't wear flip flops anywhere other than a beach.
I like a man who's up to speed on his designer clothes, but not more so than I am. A few designer items look good, but not too much. Grooming is all about subtlety and moderation. I like a good tan, and good brows (again, not as good as mine), and a little muscle.
On manners
CharlotteAlways be polite and stay off your phone - it’s rude and I want to be the centre of your attention! Offer to pay on dates. (I’m not a believer that men should have to pay but it’s nice for you to offer and the next round is on me!)
SallyFor me, manners are really important. I guess you could say I like the old school chivalry vibe, holding the door open, pulling out my chair, those little things make a huge impression for me. If someone is rude to a waiter/waitress/bartender, it’s definitely game over.
Be relaxed, confident, and use your body language to look inviting. Don't close yourself up.Bex
Well banter is key here, so while ultimately you have to be polite, a bit of cheekiness and joking is necessary to make a good first impression. Again - independent female here - so I can open my own doors and pull out my own chair, but there needs to be a level of respect. I also always judge someone for how they act with waiters and if you’re rude to them then you're a bad person. Fact.
JasManners are always in style. Holding a door open or letting someone go first shows you're polite and considerate of others.
-On body language
BexActions speak louder than words, so as much as you have to joke with your other half, the body language should show you actually care for them. Major PDA is a big no no, but a sly hand hold or squeeze is allowed.
CharlotteEye contact is crucial. I want all eyes on me. If you're looking around the room I'll think you're disinterested!
SallyBody language is really important, I think humans subconsciously read and take cues from body language all the time. Eye contact goes a long way, if we can’t hold eye contact comfortably then it’s probably not going to go well. I don’t mind too much if someone seems a little nervous, as I think that can be a good thing, but try to avoid shaking so much you spill or drop things as this is embarrassing for both of us.
ZaraBe relaxed, confident, and use your body language to look inviting. Don't close yourself up.
Don’t ask about exes, marriage, babies or my salary - it’ll freak me out.-
On personality
CharlotteConfident but never cocky. Good vibes only please.
JasConfidence is key, so whatever you do make sure that you own it and do it with purpose. Don’t forget eye contact and a strong handshake.
KatieDon't talk the talk unless you can walk the walk, i.e. don't be cocky. Be fun, and have a good time.
ZaraYou have to be funny. Don't take yourself too seriously, and have banter (slightly cringey to say it, but you have to have good 'chat' to keep the conversation flowing).
On what not to do
BexIn this day and age a lot of first impressions are made on the internet - so on that front, mirror selfies mean I will immediately swipe left. Turtle necks and blazers, shoes with no socks - absolutely not. Being too needy is also a big turn off, so act very nonchalant and I will probably love you.
KatieJust don't make it awkward. Slip a few compliments in, that works on me as long as they're not creepy. Avoid bringing up any other girls around me, as I'd have to justify why I'm better, and I don't have the time.
ZaraYou have to be a good listener. Interrupting and speaking over people are dealbreakers.
CharlotteDon’t be late – not the way to make a good first impression. I don’t want to be the one waiting around for you! Don’t ask about exes, marriage, babies or my salary - it’ll freak me out.
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Like this content? Check out the grooming lessons we learnt from Queer Eye, and keep up to speed with the Mankind blog.
